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06 April 2006 @ 05:28 am

I leave for Konoha today. I almost fear for Gaara while I am away. What will Uzumaki do to him?

What I find amusing is that Uzumaki is making a big deal of the thing between him, and Gaara. It's not as if it matters. And then, Uzumaki accused me of being a liar, when I told my brother no lies. Perhaps I gave improper information to Uzumaki...but that was because he was stupid enough to blurt out things he should have kept to himself.

I expect to be in Konoha tomorrow. The method of travel is faster than my usual. It is odd to be going to Konoha with someone I am not familiar with.

I also hope that Tsunade-sama will be able to give me more information...about the things I am concerned about.

It is most important that I find out information while in Konoha. That is my main objective. Everything else is not as important.
04 April 2006 @ 02:08 pm

I think that I should scrap the plans I have been making. After all, it is unlikely that I will ever have chidlren.

I went to Chiyo-san and asked her about the possibility of passing bad genes to my children. After much hesitation, she informed me that I probably cannot reproduce.

If I cannot reproduce, there is no need for me to attempt such things with Kankurou and Gaara, and there is no need for me to marry Kankurou.

I need to speak to Gaara about this, but when I last went to his office, he was not there. Perhaps I will go back today. No. I think that I will, again, go into the desert to think.

I think about the things that Gaara and I discussed, when I go out there. That we will find another plan if I cannot have children.

I feel it is my duty as his sister, and as one of his shinobi, to figure this out on my own. To not trouble Gaara with these problems, but to bring him a solution that he can agree to.
04 April 2006 @ 09:56 am
I still haven't seen Kankurou. I never left for Konoha, so it is not as if I have been gone. I've barely seen Gaara, but I know that he is staying busy with important things.

However, I plan to be gone very soon. I have things that need to be done.
26 March 2006 @ 07:41 pm

A school in Suna was attacked....many died, many were injured. Gaara was greatly affected by this. I worry for him.

I saw him several days ago, and he had the corpse of a young girl in a closet in his office. The stench was overwhelming. He seemed to think that she was alive, but I told him to remove the body from his office. He did.

He said that Kankurou wanted to speak to me, but I've not yet seen my other brother. I wonder if I will before I have to leave for Konoha again?

A recently promoted chuunin may be demoted to genin. I have to be there to help make the decision, based on what I saw in the woods.

When I return, I will attempt to meet up with both Sai, and Sasuke. I was unable to meet the painter shinobi when in Konoha for the chuunin exams.

I also found out about the thing that is wrong with me. Gaara advised me to see Chiyo-san. She told me. I assume she spoke the truth...she would have little reason to lie.

They did experiments on me...before I was born, after I was born. Altering my genes. I'm not sure what their intentions were. She did not say. But she did say that it went wrong.

If I have children, will my altered genes be their genes? I did not discuss that with Gaara. I must think on this.
09 March 2006 @ 01:13 am

My mission is not going as well as I had hoped, but it is difficult to procure information from a man like Sasuke. I do not want him to become suspicious, so I am continuing our companionship at the same slow rate it was already forming.

What I have learned (whether true or not):

1. I am Sasuke's weakness.
2. Sasuke wishes to marry me.
3. Sasuke thinks that I can do better than Kankurou.
4. Sasuke sleeps better when I am in bed with him.
5. He is not sex obsessed. In fact, it seems to be the last thing on his mind. I like that.
6. He thinks that I am strong, and not annoying.

Those things are of little use to Gaara, and they all feel like lies to cause problems for Suna. Temari wants to help Gaara, but seems unable to. However, I will not risk problems with Sasuke to gain information. Suna does not need him as an enemy over something so trivial.

Gaara and I, however, talked of many things, and I believe that he enlightened me on many subjects. Kankurou's behaviour is one thing we spoke of. I think that Gaara is correct.

And then there is the seal that he put on me. I never want to touch another seal. I never want to put a seal on Gaara. They react to evil, and hold it inside. Why did it make me feel ill? Gaara thinks that something may have been put inside me, something that did not do what it was supposed to do. I don't feel like I have anything inside of me. Is it possible for me to have it and not know? Gaara and I will find the answers once we return to Suna, I hope.
09 March 2006 @ 12:59 am
The Chuunin exam is progressing well. The first two parts have been completed, and the third is set for Friday of this week. I expect great things from the shinobi of Suna.

I look forward to returning to Suna. I miss the sand. I may spend time in the desert, away from Suna.
13 February 2006 @ 07:46 pm

I wanted revenge. Did I get it? I'm not sure. A conversation that Kankurou and I had gave me an idea. Events the next day only gave me the springboard necessary to get me to follow through with my idea.

I should tell Gaara, and find out his opinion. It has provided me with some insight on certain things.
03 February 2006 @ 01:11 pm

I told Gaara that I didn't want to marry Kankurou. I told him that Kankurou had broken a promise, and Gaara tried to take the blame, say he forced Kankurou into it. Yeah right. I'm not stupid, but it's nice that Gaara tried to cover for Kankurou so that I don't refuse the marriage. Gaara really seems to want this marriage, so I'm going to go along with it. If Kankurou ever breaks another promise to me, though, I'll break his arms.

Now I just have to talk to Kankurou about it.

Konoha was dull. I met a semi-interesting shinobi...he said he name was Sai. He uses paint to create methods of attack...such as the birds he sent after me. It was a friendly sparring match, that ended when I realized just how boring it was to spar with no real intent to harm. After all, I do not need to anger the Hokage by destroying parts of Konoha with my wind. Before that, he painted me with a whore. I enjoyed putting my blade to the whore's neck, but being unable to harm him was troubling. Thankfully I do have control over my impulses.

Gaara says that I am the perfect shinobi. Am I really? I feel, but I have the ability to completely shut off all feeling. I enjoy killing, but I am able to control myself. Is that what defines a good shinobi? I really don't know...but if Gaara thinks so, then it must be true.
17 January 2006 @ 10:15 pm

Thankfully, nothing bad happened while Gaara was away. Unless you count my convo with Kankurou.

Even that wasn't bad. But he wants to be with Gaara, and even though I told him to go be with Gaara, I don't know if he will. I don't understand what the problem is. He says he likes both of us, but I refuse to marry him if he wants to be with Gaara. I would rather he just go to Gaara and leave me out of it. I guess it's not that simple, though I don't know why. It seems simple enough to me. I'd talk to Gaara about it, but I don't want to bother him with Kankurou's emotional issues. It's not like he'd understand any better than I do.

I guess that Kankurou with Gaara would serve little purpose, anyway. It's not like they can reproduce together.
07 January 2006 @ 10:41 am

My brothers concern me. I never know what to think about them these days, but...I don't know. I should think about this more.

Gaara has left Suna in my hands while he is away. I do not see any problems ahead.

Gaara also suggested that I use a scarf as my new clothing. An interesting suggestion, except it leaves me with no protection. I will continue with my current clothing plan. It will work well with the wind.